Starting Over

We don’t remember what it was like to walk for the first time

our weak legs carrying our chubby body

across the living room floor.

We don’t remember seeing the quiet smiles

of our family as they tried not to spook us

while we did what we had never done.

why couldn’t we keep that energy for the future,

when we would know what it was worth?

why couldn’t we all keep to ourselves

when our friend learnt to walk without a drink in their hand,

when our friend learnt to walk without looking backwards?

starting over is so difficult

because we shoulder the weight of our mistakes

our hopes,

then we decide to punish ourselves by

holding the expectation of others

around our necks,

and then we are surprised when something cracks.

It seems that at some unfortunate point

the joy of starting

gets clouded by the shame of rolling to a stop.

Yet, inexplicably,

you will continue to traverse this unkind land

in this unforgiving climate,

leaving behind your unmade bed

and start all over again.

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A Relevant Recommendation: A Song

Starting Over by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis